Gstaad in Love

Gstaad in Love

There is no more magical place for us pigs to fall in love
Than this enchanting mountain village with the Palace hotel above
We take a horse carriage through the charming village’s snowy streets
On both sides there are high end boutiques
Fancy restaurants and outdoor cafes
We pigs love all the wooden chalets

Wrapped up in each other’s arms and very much in love 
We pigs wear mountain flowers but have no gloves
How silly to forget to bring our mountain gear
Especially as there is no ski shop anywhere near

The Palace Lobby

Our desired destination is the Palace hotel
We dream to sit in the lobby with a pink martini cocktail
We pigs can already see from the palace couloir
An Arab prince, a maharajah and a movie star
Sipping champagne at the bar

As the evening goes on, the lobby draws a huge crowd
We pigs have never seen dress so flashy and loud
Beautiful models, and Russian oligarchs
Asian billionaires and hedge fund sharks
All, table hopping , champagne popping
And name dropping

We pigs are now really gawking
How can these ladies be walking?
With those high heels on the snow and ice!
We pigs, don’t think they came here to pick edelweiss

Dancing the night away

To get the most of our holiday
We pigs want to dance the night away

So it’s midnight at the Greengo
The Palace hotel’s coveted disco
We pigs hip-hop to the musical beat
And twist away with Gstaad’s elite

This is the most ecstatic of nights
Amongst fluorescent green lights
And romancing

But gosh
These bar prices are hogwash
Five hundred for champagne is very dear
Next time we pigs will stick to beer

Wispile to Launensee

We pigs have heard so much talk
And praise for this mountain walk
A vertical climb with many a step
So far it’s been a real schlep

Now we pigs are at the top
Pooped and ready to drop
With fingers and faces frosted
We are out of breath and exhausted

Then we pigs contemplate
We still have to walk all the way down
Before it’s too late
Before sundown
Or remain frozen
In our Austrian lederhosen

Visit to the Eagle’s Club

This club is where the eagles soar
Once through the door
We pigs see
Faces that we have seen on TV
And Royalty

All mingling together and having lunch
We pigs brought our picnics to munch
But our egos took a punch
When before we could sit
The president had a fit
He said our attendance here is illegal
We pigs can’t mix with the eagles

So with our picnics and a frown
We left and took the chairlift down

Charly’s Tea Room

The chairs and tables outside the facade
Allow us pigs to watch the promenade

We really came here to stare
Not to take the mountain air
We really came here to eat
Not to hike or walk or any such feat

Staring at all these pastries  and delights
Our pig moods and appetites
What really caused our spirits to sink
Is that when we think
We paid for classes
And have free passes
On the ice skating rink

The Olden

We pigs wear Versace, looking golden
For our visit to the Olden

Inside the restaurants and bars 
We discover many movie stars
Like being at the Oscars

We pigs turn into love birds
After saying two words
To the most glamorous
Giddy and amorous

We leave hand in hand
Up to the Greengo
The magazine ‘Hello’
Will soon apprehend
We pigs are with our new best friends

Skiing in Gstaad

We pigs will try our skill
To ski down a hill
With little or no savoir-faire
We pigs must take care

Not to fall and break a limb
The chances are slim
That the hospital in Zweissimen
Would admit us pigs in

Left in our broken state
What would be our fate?
What we fear most
We could end up in a roast
Or in a pig suckling display
In a Gstaad chalet

Ballooning in Gstaad

We pigs don’t need to go to Chateau d’Œx
To rent a hot air balloon and fly away

We are inflated all on our own
And have turned into a drone
Thanks to our great intake
Of Swiss chocolat cake
Raclette and fondue

We pigs now enjoy a majestic view
Over the village and trees we flew
Until we floated into a situation quite dire

The Palace roof’s spire
Could very soon
Pop our balloon

Furs on the high street

We pigs aren’t really cold
But we were told
That in Gstaad everyone wears furs
Wealthy wives of entrepreneurs
Fashionable men and boys
Everyone on the high street enjoys
Displaying their latest mink
In vibrant colors of blue or pink

We pigs also take great care
To wear
Coats and hats of Russian sable
To carry bags with a high-end label
To put a mink coat on our poodle
Even though we only came down
To town
To buy an apple strudel


The beautiful mountains we see
From the chalet’s terrace view
Will give you a clue
That this is as near as we wish to be

We pigs don’t want to ski
But rather love to frolic
In our bathing suits by the pool
Becoming slightly alcoholic

We gossip about and ridicule
Every person we have met
We now feel we belong to the “jet set”
Happily passing the day away
Dipping in the pool of the chalet
Lounging around in our bikinis
And sipping pink martinis

See you next Christmas in Gstaad